17 November, 2007

Life's A Song

After searching high and low, I've found the perfect song for our wedding! Well actually, Dear found it eventually for me... I know the title and have seen the video but I couldn't locate it.

He kinda laughed at me initially when I told him I shed a tear or two when I first heard it... and told me it's still some time to go before the dinner itself... But, he still helped me search for it... zhOots! to him... lol...

I was watching Oprah the other day, and she started off by asking the audience to write down 5 words that describe the relationship between ourself and our partner.

These are what i wrote down

After which, Oprah told her viewers to evaluate what we wrote down. Are these what we want in the/a relationship?

I did not write down "romantic", which many of her audience did. Oprah said romance should not be in the equation. It is true that we all long for romance, and many a time have heard; "romance keeps the relationship alive". But it is not realistic to have constant EXPECTATIONS of romance in a relationship, neither does the existence of romance equals a healthy soulful relationship. Maybe, "romance" had just been misused in the modern times. A loving word, a tight hug, have often been taken for granted. Contrary to Jerry McGuire, no one "completes you". you have to bring a 'complete self' to a relationship.

If we yearn for romance as a reassurance of our importance to our partner, then what actually lies beneath it is fear, and what causes fear is insecurity. The root of it will be we need someone to make us feel better or feel worthy of ourself.

I don't know if I've reached this stage whereby I'm so at peace with myself. Many a times when things happened, I always felt I can't go on, but I each time I did. Perhaps what I heard is true: we ARE stronger than we THINK we are. I would be devastated if I do not have Dear in my life. But I know I do not live my life FOR him. I live for myself, and when with him, we can build another life together. I have my goals, but I also have our goals, in that order.

Marriage is a journey, not a destination. I hope our journey will always be loving, warm, supportive, complementary, and hopeful in our adventures.